February 14th
by chaosattractor
Summary: A belated MxM one-shot for Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day isn't exactly Matt's style, but this year he's decided to give Mello some chocolate. His plans quickly take on a life of their own - and how will Mello react? Funny, fluffy and kinky.


Matt's goggles fogged up the moment he walked through the door of the Walgreen's. He wiped them off with one sleeve and found himself staring down the seasonal aisle. The discount Christmas lights and tacky ornaments had all been removed, and now it was a garish display in red and pink, with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, teddy bears and votive candles lining the shelves.

He ignored it, as he had every single year in the past. Valentine's Day had about as much impact on Matt's life as Mars. It existed, but it had very little to do with him. He had never been in the sort of relationship that involved romantic dinners and bouquets of roses. Mello sure as hell wasn't that kind of guy. Valentine's Day happened to other people.

He strolled through the store and picked up some potato chips and Mountain Dew before he remembered that he had come there for toilet paper. He grabbed some, then headed to the checkout with its inviting selection of cigarettes.

As he was about to get in line, it occurred to him that he had better bring some chocolate home to appease Mello. He turned and found himself once again faced with the Valentine's Day aisle. The product closest to him was a giant chocolate heart whose wrapper proudly announced that it weighed three pounds.

Matt paused as a new thought occurred to him. Aside from being a romantic, sappy mess, Valentine's Day was basically the celebration of chocolate, wasn't it? Maybe he should think twice before he dismissed it.

He thought about it for another minute and made up his mind. He would give Mello some chocolates, maybe even one of those heart-shaped boxes, as a sort of tongue-in-cheek ironic commentary on the nature of their relationship. And because it was chocolate. Yeah.

He felt stupid paying for the thing, but the truly nerve-wracking moment came when he reentered the apartment. He didn't know what he would do if Mello took an interest in his bags and discovered that incriminating gift on him.

Fortunately, Mello showed his customary indifference to Matt's activities. He was able to hide it in the bottom of his jeans drawer without incident.

Valentine's Day was two weeks away. Initially Matt was worried about his ability to keep the shiny heart thing hidden until then, but as time passed, that fear faded in favor of a new one. What if the gift pissed Mello off? He was picky about his chocolates—would truffles that came in a gaudy, red heart-shaped box pass muster?

He decided that the only logical thing to do was to accompany it with some quality chocolate, just in case.

Not that he knew what constituted good chocolate. It all tasted the same to him. He did some research on the internet and located some gourmet chocolate shops in the area. The selections they offered amazed and baffled him. Chocolate bars with sea salt, ginger, sesame seeds, chili peppers, goji berries—he didn't know what those were—and even _bacon. _Matt scratched his head and bought a dozen different types on the theory that Mello was bound to like at least one.

Then he remembered that he had really only seen Mello eat pure chocolate bars. It occurred to him belatedly that Mello might regard the chocolates he had bought as abominations. He had no choice, then, but to go out and find some different chocolate that might be more to Mello's tastes. He found a store selling all chocolate imported from Belgium. That sounded classy enough, so he bought another half dozen types of chocolate there.

As the day approached, the question of how to present these gifts loomed large in his mind. What was he going to do, give the chocolate to Mello and then try to go about a normal day? That was a recipe for awkward if he'd ever heard of one. No, there needed to be something else to follow it up with. Like…maybe some sort of dinner. Like a date, actually.

Matt snorted. Mello would probably stare at him like he was crazy for that suggestion, but…well, why the hell not? They could always skip it if Mello didn't want to go.

So he began the next phase of his planning. He was stumped for a few days as he tried to figure out what would make a good date destination for Valentine's Day. This sort of thing was not his forte. He realized with some embarrassment that he didn't really know what Mello's taste in food _was_, other than chocolate. He bitched about everything Matt brought home; all he knew for sure was that the blonde was damned picky. What would catch the attention of the Mafia Boss who used to eat daily at places that wouldn't even answer the phone for a nobody like himself?

Then the answer came to him. It was so obvious he couldn't believe it had eluded him until now. Fondue. It was famous for being made of chocolate! And it was supposed to be classy stuff, too. Matt had never eaten it, that was for sure.

His eyes almost popped out of his skull when he heard the price of Valentine's Day dinner at the nearest nice fondue restaurant, but he was committed now. He made the reservation, then sat back and waited for the day to arrive.

The week before Valentine's Day saw Matt very nervous about his upcoming plan. He kept dreaming up new ways he could screw up. It was on his mind a lot, and he became sensitized to all things Valentine's Day-related. It was everywhere. He had never realized how all-pervasive it was before. He picked up a pink teddy bear that had a heart emblazoned with the words "I Love You!" clutched between its paws, grinning as he pictured the dumbfounded look Mello's face would wear when he presented it. He also ended up getting a card, contemplating various humorous messages he could write inside. The prominence of roses eventually percolated through his awareness, and he bought a few.

The final elements gave him some serious doubts before he finally bought them. He had found "chocolate body paint," which he assumed was nicely-packaged chocolate syrup that cost four times as much as the regular stuff. The way he saw it, adding that to the collection of gifts would either make Mello laugh his ass off, or punch him in the face. But what the hell, he decided. He had come this far; he might as well go all the way. He purchased it along with a set of pink fuzzy handcuffs, just to make it abundantly clear that it was a joke.

When Valentine's Day rolled around, Matt waited until Mello was thoroughly involved in work before he got out of bed. He opened his jeans drawer and began laying out the gifts. He winced in dismay when he realized how much it amounted to now. Between the chocolate and the stuffed animals and the card and everything it took up a quarter of the bed. He couldn't carry this in one armload, or even two. How had this gag gift grown to such proportions?

Well, it wasn't like he could get rid of the stuff at this point. He might as well go through with it.

"H—hey Mel," he called. "Would you come in here for a sec?"

"Why?" came the annoyed response.

"Because," he answered hopefully.

He heard a disgusted snort from the other room, but this was followed by approaching footsteps. "I can't interrupt myself every time you're bored. Your laziness means that I have to be twice—"

He broke off when he came into the room and saw the display. He froze.

"Uh, happy Valentine's Day," said Matt, managing a smile. "I uh, I got you some stuff."

Mello didn't move. He just stared at the bed. Matt fidgeted uneasily. "Um, what—" he began.

"You bought me this stuff?" Mello started speaking at the very same instant. "For me? For Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah…" Matt faltered. Now Mello had approached the bed and was rifling through the items with a stern frown on his face. Matt fiddled with an empty bag of chips nervously. This wasn't going how he had pictured it at all.

Mello turned to face him, his expression deadly serious. "Why did you do this?" he asked.

Matt shifted uncomfortably. "I…thought it would be funny," he mumbled. This was turning out to be a disaster. He shouldn't have done it. He tried to remember what had ever made this seem like a good idea, and couldn't.

Mello walked towards him slowly, pinning him with his pale blue eyes. When he was close enough, his hand shot out and grabbed Matt's chin. He tilted his face up and regarded him from mere inches away, head cocked to one side.

"Am I ever going to know everything about you there is to know?" Mello asked, his voice dangerously soft.

"Uh…" Those eyes seemed to pierce straight through him, but he didn't know what Mello was searching for. "I don't—"

Quick as lightning, Mello leaned forward and ran his tongue over the contours of Matt's lips. His knees immediately turned to jelly and he had to grab the desk for support.

By the time he managed to gather his wits and open his eyes, Mello had gone back to the bed and was tearing open a solid chocolate heart. He took a huge bite and shook his head disapprovingly. "This chocolate is terrible," he complained, shoving another bite into his mouth. "And—is that a heart-shaped vase for the roses?" He spun around. His face was hidden behind his blonde hair and his hand had come up to his mouth. His shoulders were shaking. Alarmed, Matt took a step forward.

Then Mello lost control and howled with laughter. "Heart-shaped—vase—" he wheezed, his eyes dancing with amusement as he regarded Matt. "Roses! Oh, you're so _romantic, _Matt!"

Matt knew he was blushing, and he was powerless to stop it. Every second that Mello's gaze was on him, he felt himself flush a hotter crimson. "'S a joke," he mumbled. "Joke."

"You're cute when you blush," said Mello with a smirk as he wiped tears of amusement out of his eyes. Matt shot him the best death-glare he could reasonably manage while the color of his face matched shiny red heart sitting on the bed, but it only made Mello laugh harder. "You know, I think this officially makes you my girlfriend."

Matt's stomach sank in mortification. He couldn't think of anything to say to save his battered pride, so he turned and stalked to the corner to smoke.

More snorts of laughter came from the other side of the room, interspersed with little exclamations of surprise. Then there was a cry of dismay. Despite Matt's determination to sulk, curiosity got the better of him. He turned around to see what had happened.

Mello had the heart-shaped box open and had was holding an empty wrapper in his hand. His eyes were wide in horror as he chewed. "This one's got some fruity shit in it!" he exclaimed.

"It's got some fruity shit eating it, too," muttered Matt. Fortunately, his comment didn't reach Mello's ears.

Another bout of laughter burst from Mello's lips as he discovered the chocolate body paint. "Oh, Matty. Do you think you need to resort to measures like this to get my tongue on your skin?" His eyes ran down Matt's body in a way that made him feel completely exposed despite his long-sleeved shirt. "You don't. Just ask."

Now Matt was feeling flushed with something other than embarrassment. He considered the merits of taking Mello up on that offer right here and now, but in the end he moved too slowly. Mello had already turned his attention to the pink stuffed animal.

He picked the thing up and turned to Matt, head cocked in bemusement. "Really, Matt? A teddy bear? Is this us? It's _pink._" Before Matt could answer, Mello grabbed a handful of chocolate lips and pelted him with them.

"Hey! Hey!" exclaimed Matt in exasperation, holding his arm up to protect his face. Mello tired of the game fairly quickly and stopped, but not before five of them had bounced off and vanished into the limbo that was Matt's bedroom floor. He rolled his eyes. Mello would be angry with him later unless he located them—they were made of chocolate, after all. He grumbled as he poked around piles of dirty clothes and empty soda cans looking for them.

Once he had found all five, he became aware that Mello was hard at work at something on the bed. His movements were crisp and purposeful, his expression intent. Matt frowned, wondering which of the Valentine's Day items could possibly have absorbed his attention so thoroughly. He crossed the room and realized that Mello had the teddy bear in his hands.

"There," said Mello with a flourish. "Isn't this better?"

He held the bear up, and Matt's jaw dropped. He had tucked the bear's arms underneath its ankles and tied them in place with a red ribbon that had formerly been adorning the truffle box. This resulted in the bear's legs being splayed open in a pose that was nothing short of obscene. "My god," said Matt. "Only you, Mello."

"Aha!" Mello grabbed another ribbon, this one with a plastic flower attached to the center. He stuffed the base of the flower into the bear's mouth and tied the ribbon around its head, then held it up again proudly. With the bear's open-mouthed smile hidden by the flower, its look of innocent happiness had been effectively transformed into an expression of wide-eyed terror. "Yeah," said Mello. "That's more like it."

"You're sick!" Matt exclaimed, only half joking. "Completely sick!"

"Mm." Mello's absent response sounded speculative. "I should put you in a ball gag sometime."

Matt opened his mouth to tell Mello exactly where he could shove that idea, but Mello put the bear down on the bed before he could speak. He rested it in a nice, normal sitting position, but the ribbons and the weighty flower caused it to tip over. It fell face-first onto the mattress and lay there, its ass sticking straight up in the air with the heart and the words "I love you" just below it.

Both of them burst out laughing in the same instant. Mello made it worse by picking the bear up and trying to prop it in several different positions, but each time it tumbled back to the same resting state.

Matt clutched his stomach and sagged to his knees, then gave up and fell prone to the floor, shoulders shaking with guffaws. Minutes passed before he could breathe again. He climbed back to his knees, pressing his cheeks forward in a fish-face to ease his aching muscles as he caught his breath. "Hurts," he wheezed. "Don't do—anything else funny—for at least fifteen minutes!"

Mello had sat down on the edge of the bed for his laughing fit. "I didn't even plan that," he said. "But holy shit, it's great." He cast about the room and grabbed an empty beer bottle, and before Matt could protest, he had the bear posed face-down on the dresser with the beer bottle shoved between its legs. He stepped back and nodded firmly as he looked at his handiwork. "That's more like it, don't you think?"

"That's just…" Matt shook his head, almost at a loss for words. "You're a fucked up individual, you know that?

Mello grinned, then cocked his head and eyed him. "You know, that gives me an idea."

"Oh no," said Matt firmly, holding his hands out defensively. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Mello strode across the room so quickly that Matt reflexively took a step back and promptly stumbled over a pile of trash. Mello caught his arm and dragged him toward the bed. "You always have fun, as soon as you quit complaining."

"I do not!" exclaimed Matt.

"You do _too._" Mello hauled on his arm so hard he lost his balance. He landed on the bed in the midst of the pile of chocolates and winced as something sharp poked into his side. Mello was on top of him a moment later, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back.

"Mello—god damn it, quit that!" Matt tried to scramble out of his grip, but the blonde had him pinned. "We have a dinner to go to!" he exclaimed desperately. "Fondue!"

Mello stilled for a moment. "Fondue?" he said, his tone betraying how startled he was. "You amaze me." Matt thought for a moment that he would get a reprieve, but then Mello tightened his grip. "But dinnertime is hours away yet. Nice try, though."

Matt could hear Mello rooting around in the Valentine's Day gifts, and realized a moment too late what he had in mind. A cuff closed around his wrist an instant later. "Are you kidding me?" he demanded. "You're actually going to put those pink fuzzy handcuffs on me?"

"Damned right I am," replied Mello, his voice full of mirth as he fastened the other one in place. Then he got off Matt and allowed him to sit up.

He immediately tried to free his wrists, but embarrassingly enough, the gag gift actually had the strength to hold him. "Son of a bitch," he complained, giving Mello a withering look. "Is this amusing you?"

"You have no idea how much," answered Mello flippantly. Then his smile vanished and his eyes glinted in a mercurial mood shift, and he pounced. Within moments he managed to wrestle Matt's shirt up and over his head and down his back to pool around his wrists, and shortly after that he had Matt pinned flat on his back. It was somewhat painful to lie on his arms, but Matt forgot all about that when Mello's face appeared inches from his. Ice-blue eyes pinned him in place and he froze, mesmerized.

"Don't fight," he purred. Matt shivered. The tone of command in his voice was impossible to ignore, and it was making Matt flustered as hell. "Now we're going to do things _my _way." Mello kissed him, and Matt closed his eyes and kissed back, powerless to stop himself from getting turned on. "Because--" Mello breathed into his ear, making his breath catch in his throat. "—you've been a bad, bad Matt, and you need to be spanked."

Matt's eyes flew open in horror, and then he burst into hysterical laughter. It didn't ebb until there were tears of mirth in his eyes. "My god, Mello! I was just getting into the mood, and you ruined _everything!_"

Mello was straddling his hips casually, grinning at his reaction. "I was trying for a line as cheesy as all of this shit," he said, his gesture taking in all of the Valentine's Day items on the bed. "Did it work?"

"Ye—" Matt caught himself, realizing the potential amusement he would miss out on if he agreed. "No. Try harder."

Mello raised his eyebrows, then screwed his face up in thought. "Cheesier than that, let me think…" After a moment he nodded, then leaned over Matt once again. "How about this?" He cupped Matt's face in his hands and brushed his lips across his forehead. "I love you, Mail Jeevas."

Matt flushed hotly, the sudden seriousness taking him completely by surprise. He was completely tongue-tied as Mello sat back slightly and regarded him. "Okay, yeah," he managed weakly after a long moment. "That was pretty damned cheesy."

"I thought so," agreed Mello, smiling fondly at him and caressing his cheek gently for a moment. Then he bounced off of Matt and began aggressively searching through the covers. "Ah!" He returned an instant later with the chocolate body pain in his hands.

Matt's eyes widened. "Oh…we don't actually have to _use _that," he said. "It was just a joke."

"No way. You bought it, so we're going to use it," said Mello firmly. He opened the top, then dipped a finger inside to taste it. He nodded to himself. "Not half bad." Then he smiled and scooped up a dollop on two fingers. He looked over Matt's bare torso speculatively, then back at his face. "Okay," he said. "Where do you want me?"

Matt's eyes were glued to Mello's fingers, tracking every slightest movement. "That's easy," he breathed. "Everywhere."

Mello gave him a lopsided grin, delicately licking the sauce from one fingertip. "Everywhere it is," he agreed. He ran his hand down the center of Matt's chest, leaving smears of chocolate in its wake. "You know," he smirked. "I have a feeling that today is going to be a _very_ happy Valentine's Day."

Matt gazed up at him with half-lidded eyes. Then he smiled. "You know, I think I agree."


End file.
